Obituari and Empathy | Sector m

This is a fact about you who are true -really you might not know: My writing career starts in a metropolitan newspaper … as an obituary writer. I am 18 years old, just started in college, and was recruited by my mass communication class instructor.

I lived in this job for more than three years while I went to school. As soon as I graduated, I went to the world of marketing and advertising, where I stayed. Well, in my new job, I wrote an obituari for previous employees who had died. For a moment, I cleaned the expertise where I started as a writer. That is a sad task, but what I receive, for the reasons I will face later in this post.

Even though this is all in my mind, I want to put with words some of the things that I learned in this initial role, why I finally left it, and why I thought that obituari and funeral services, in general, were important.

Life and Death in the Obit Department

Most, I am just a writer at a table, working on a computer like someone else, but there are additional elements that make the work emotionally challenging. We have a number of obitations that will come every day, and this job teaches me about the deadline. Do whatever you need to do, make sure your copy is at 3:00.

We will verify all obituari elements with funeral homes, often only the names of the names are visible, or birthdays if those registered on the intake form are not suitable, things like that. Most of the time, we will only call a funeral home and talk to one of their representatives, but sometimes we need to contact the family.

Understand that this is a person who loses a person who is loved one or two days before this call, or even The same day. They are often confused, angry and still trying to wrap their loss, so we have to be very gentle with them. While we must remain professional, everyone understands that the dose of empathy and understanding can be very helpful.

Maybe the most heartbreaking part is when they will appear in the office to send photos of the people they love. They might even look good and calm when they walk past the door. That was when they handed over the photo that they almost always began to cry. That action brought the realization of their sadness to the front lines for them. That makes the loss real. We have a special side room with a box of tissue and two chairs to give them space to arrange themselves. I must have seen this scene playing dozens during my term of office there.

However, that is not all bad. Because we handle dozens of names per day, there are times when we begin to see the trend that arises when someone is born and the theme of their name. For example, from around 1908 to the early 1920s, it became popular to name girls after precious stones. Pearls, emeralds, opal, and so on. My great grandmother, who was born in 1911, was named Ruby.

We also determine that the average age of obituary that enters is around 77, who is tilted occasionally by a younger person, usually a teenager, who tragically dies in a car accident or similar accident.

Of course there are exceptions.

Why did I stop

Many of what I learned about journalism in the early days brought home ideas Professional DetachmentLearn and report facts without too close because it can endanger your objectivity. It’s not always easy when you deal with a grieving family every day. Even when they sometimes call the office and shout and shout at us because they get something wrong (whether it is really wrong or not), I know it’s just their sadness to speak. I still have a job to do, and I can’t be too wrapped in one case or I will not be able to function in that room.

As the saying goes, That will definitely happen, and one day it happens. I received the news of death for an eight-year-old boy. Every time I receive Obit in my queue on one digit, it guarantees the second appearance, only to ensure that family and funeral homes do not leave one digit.

This one came with a photo, a portrait of Olan Mills from the child. And let me tell you, this photo is very good so that it looks like the one that might come with a wallet or empty photo frame. He had a big smile on his face like he would laugh out loud, the smile reflected in his eyes. He is fair seen So full of life. I was immediately sad just by seeing this boy who should still be alive, but not. My professional detachment got a big blow. Throughout the day, I was haunted by this boy’s thoughts. Often, the cause of death is not reported to us, so I never know what brought it.

When I worked through this death news, I found that there were some inconsistency in the information provided. For my life, I don’t remember what it is, maybe the name of a family member who looks wrong or incompatible between days in a week for service and that month. I called a funeral home, but no one took. The standard procedure is contacting the family. This boy has lived with his family in Alaska, so I played that number.

This has been long enough so that people still have an answering machine. Well, guess his voice that greeted me, invited me to leave my name and number after the sound of BIP? I sat there on my desk, staring at the photo while the boy’s voice spoke to me on the phone, and his voice appropriate match the photo. My detachment was destroyed at that time. I don’t remember now if I leave a message. I might do it, but suddenly my turn to use the side space to try to arrange myself.

I have never seen work in the same way again. Sometimes in the crowd to meet the deadline, name and date and associations all run away together. Sometimes you stop seeing them as human beings and seeing it only as a row item in the list, as a task that needs to be completed. This little boy stopped me on my path, giving me a sharp reminder that each name was attached to the family that was in the morning they lost. But how could something simple like obituari summarize the fullness and nuances of one’s life? The truth is that it can’t.

That does not.

He Should not.

I limped in this job for a few months, but I know I am finished. I went to work for local telephone companies, and while there were several opportunities for me to return to the Obit Department along the road, I never did it.

Why are they important

Obituari may be a defective and limited way to mark one’s death, but time and reflection have changed my attitude towards them. The same thing applies to funerals and warning services. They are a sad business, of course, but they help us frame loss in our minds when everything appears in chaos. They are a step that needs to help us grieve and start to heal.

When I said before that I had not written obituari in a few moments, that was not true. What I mean is A official Obituari, where I do not know individuals personally. The fact is that I have written similar obituses here on this blog, even though they are far from what I do in the newspaper. In this case, my detachment really comes out of Airlock, and it should be like that. These are the people I love, that I am still Love, who lost it destroyed me, and I was still wrestling with their loss. (You can find it here, here, and here.)

Obituari, like a funeral, is for the living. Even though they can help us return to the proverb, they have other functions, which I think is the most important: That’s how we remember it. When someone leaves, that’s one of the biggest awards that humans can do for others – just to remember it with love.

Notes about empathy

Of course, I can’t let the heavy topics like this pass without a kind of geeky reference, so here it is. In the Lord of the RingsGandalf is an angel known as A Maier. Other strong figures in the story, such as Saruman and Sauron, are part of this same group. Each Maier are at several apprenticeship points in one ValarA much stronger creature that effectively is a god. In the case of Gandalf, he has served Nienna, Vala The portfolio is sadness and sadness. He continued to cry because of all the pain in Arda, even for things that had not yet happened. It is estimated that the reason Gandalf understands empathy and compassion very well is because of this affiliation.

By remembering that, I am a great proverb that we must always be good to people because we never know what war they are silent that we don’t know. Our friends, our family, our coworkers may be experiencing some very emotional things, and we may never realize it. Maybe the little goodness of you is what helps someone who struggles to pass through their day. After being in various countries of mourning for more than a year now, I know this is true.

Yes, it’s easy to behave cynically about this, especially with everything that happens around us, and it seems like everyone is for themselves. I have noticed a quote from Elon Musk who has been floating on Twitter lately. There are several variations, but everything is more or less than this:

“The basic weakness of Western civilization is empathy.”

I’m not sure that I can disagree with this statement more. I think it’s a lack Empathy which is the root of the causes of many of our suffering, and most of our problems. Our worst ugliness, inhuman we are not with each other, all come from lack of empathy. So, in a world where we can choose to have more or less than that, I will choose Again at all times.

I think that’s what makes us fundamentally human.

Thank you for reading.